Jan 16 #LOA Manifesting a Relationship

Well, here's the 2nd post of the day!  Nothing too exciting going on.  Just mostly relaxing outside. 

I then decided to take a nap.  And when I woke up, like when you are in the in between stages of sleep and dreaming and waking up, I got a big wake up call I think.  I almost felt like my Inner Being was showing me the amount of lack that I have going on in my undercurrent compared to my want (Vortex man...relationship etc).  It was MASSIVE.  Like it was so massive it was so upsetting waking up.  I'm not sure how real that was or what but let's say it is, it is going to take me forever to get around this resistance (lack).

I'm not sure with this whole Law of Attraction stuff if when you're thinking of all the good stuff about what you want to manifest (and thus prepaving at the same time), if there is an undercurrent of the lack you feel without you being aware of it?  If so, then I have to do something else.

I think that something else is...'Allowing' in the sense of thinking of completely other things than the relationship.  Thinking of good relationship stuff also puts you in alignment for allowing but at the same time - if thinking the good relationship stuff is also bringing in the bad relationship stuff (but you're not 100% aware of it?) - then maybe I'm doing a disservice to myself for even thinking about it period?

Ok - this is getting a bit complicated for me to even think about but - regardless - I think my inner being is trying to tell me to not think about being in a relationship at all....not thinking about a specific guy ... not thinking about any guy...not thinking about how it would feel to be in a relationship...not thinking about it being a part of my life at all.  Like erasing that 'need' so to speak. 

I have to admit..probably since my teenage years - it has been a constant 'want' for me to have that and it has been so elusive in my life.  And that has to create a massive amount of lack.  Not to mention an almost unconscious obsession with wanting to be in a relationship?  Possibly?  None of that is healthy for sure.

I know the universe knows what I want.  I've done tons of prepaving.  What happens if I just erase it from my mind?  I don't know HOW to erase it from my mind (25+ years! of wanting!)...but I'm willing to take it on to bring it in.  We'll see how this goes.  Will keep y'all in the loop. 

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