Thursday, January 19, 2017

Contrast - Car Issues #LOA #Lack

So as you guys read yesterday, I had a lot of contrast - one that is still around as I haven't dealt with it yet - is my tire pressure being low and me probably having to get a new tire (and there is a lot more hassle than what it sounds like - due to warranty...where the place I got the warranty is...and thus having to take off work...etc). 

So I was in a pretty bad funk (sounds like nothing it felt like a lot due to the contrast earlier on the drive home and this additional hassle).  I was doing a rampage today and all of a sudden I got clarity on why this happened.  Well, I got the clarity of what it really means - not sure how to move this mountain or go around this resistance.

So...dealing with car issues has been, as long as I've been driving (20 years), my Achilles heel.  I don't know how many times I've been on the side of the road (in my early days - driving crappy cars - plus last year with my 4Runner...tire thing again lol).  I don't know how many times I've been to the mechanic who I'm always thinking is taking advantage of me and it is always at least a grand every time I go and everyone is always telling me how they're taking advantage of me yet NO ONE (friends) will fix it for me.  They just tell me all the things I'm doing wrong in trying to get it fixed.  Thanks, guys.  Or at least that has been my experience.

And then I see all these people throughout the years - have their significant others - deal with the car issues...over and over and over again.  And me, always by myself, having to deal with the issues on my own with all this chatter in my ear how I do everything wrong and I'm getting ripped off (while most of these years I was pretty poor).  Pretty sucky existence!  Not to mention, and here's the clarity, seeing all those people having their significant other handle that for them, makes me feel unworthy...like why am I not worthy enough to have a relationship where a man wants to do things for me...or heck...a friend that will fix it or know what to do or be supportive just by being optimistic for me or...whatever. 

So this tire deflating issue...brings up contrast....because....it shows yet again...I am single...and have no one to count on to handle these things for me.  I know I can do it myself as I have done this a 100 billion times - but I always feel the uncertainty of....well what if it isn't simple..what if I have to take it in and the mechanics screw me over and it is a ton of money and I waste a ton of time while I'm there.  ALL of that.  For one low tire.  20 years.  Of me feeling that way every time I had a car problem. 

So it is just lack lack lack...being shown to me.  Unworthiness too because I'm comparing myself to everyone who has someone...who never has to deal with this on their own. 

So...maybe this contrast is....for me to be aware of it.  And to maybe pick the stick back up in a better place next time.  This is HUGE lack for me.  Like I told you before, it is my Achilles heel in 'me feeling bad' and....so...I've been aware of it in a certain sense but not really in a Law of Attraction sense.  Car problems = Always Single Girl.  Just always reminds me of that. 

So I tabled this post for a bit...and asked my Inner Being....what do you want me to do - figure out how to change this lack of feeling like a single girl when looking at car problems or to just not think about it anymore.  I get up and walk to the restroom and I see the big Exit sign which I haven't really noticed before.  LOL  Ok, I take that to mean don't think about it anymore.  Then the thoughts started flowing in - that I'll keep picking the stick up higher and higher until it dissipates....not to mention...as the years have gone by...I have gotten better, more reliable cars...and I go to more reliable places...so the hassle hasn't been like it was or as frequent...and if I'm on the side of the road ... we now have cell phones (yes I used to drive during non-cell phone days LOL)....so the instances where I have to deal with car problems are less and less and less anyways.  So with both of those things...eventually...this will not affect me.  The kicker is...but I don't want to rely on it....my object of attention works on vehicles...LOL  My perfect Vortex man ;)  But for now...I have to just be at peace with what is happening....and try not to think about it. 

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