Just wanted to continue my post with telling you about what happened at church last night. We had a special service which I knew would be mostly singing and it was. I should have probably put more intentions about what I expected going into church but I really didn't because I honestly didn't have a clue what to expect as this is a new thing (church on Wednesdays). But my favorite thing about church is the singing so I was somewhat pumped up!
So I drive my awesome mustang (manifestation) to church which always makes me happy. Although, the heels I was wearing slipped off the clutch a bit so I now know not to wear those heels in that mustang. So that probably was the first bit of contrast to show up - to get me wobbling as Abraham would say. Although, I didn't realize it until now while I'm typing that was probably what started everything!
So I get to church and find a decent spot but not the spot I wanted. No big deal. I go in to church and I find my row of peeps! It was good to see them. One of the best things about going to church! So they start off the service with prayers and lots of singing. Now the songs weren't exactly the ones that I really loved so I was feeling mediocre at best at this point. Then my tights I was wearing were bugging the crap out of me. My heels were killing me (I don't normally wear heels). And then this little girl (5 or 6 years old) in front of me started giving me the death stare while I'm trying to sing my heart out.
Contrast all over the place but I wasn't really aware that it was contrast for some reason. So after a couple songs, I had to go to the bathroom. So I go to the bathroom and there are probably 4 people washing their hands or whatever. I go in the first stall and start going and they leave the bathroom AND TURN THE LIGHTS OUT! Pitch black in there and I'm mid-pee and I start freaking out! So I hurry up and get done and turn the light on.
Boy, was I frazzled. I think I brought on the lights off thing - because of all the contrast before. Now, before I get to what I should have done with the contrast, I want to tell you why I actually freaked out when the lights went out. No, I'm not scared of the dark. It shocked me for sure but I can go to the bathroom in the dark. What was my first thought? It was - what if someone comes in here and finds me going to the bathroom in the dark - like I'm weirdo going to the bathroom in the dark. WHY DO I CARE WHAT THE HECK OTHERS THINK!!!! Seriously? I actually came to that realization this morning while I was driving to work that is what I was thinking. And I actually sort of beat myself up about it which you are not supposed to do. I guess the reason why I'm beating myself up over it is because I had thought I'd gotten to the stage of 'I don't give a crap what others think of me' but apparently that's still in my vibration. And caring what others think of you, to me, really blocks the good stuff from coming in. So it is just something I have to be aware of and react differently when those thoughts come in my mind I guess.
Now in regards to the contrast, what thought could I thought of in opposite of those contrasting thoughts/feelings/circumstances?
1. Heel slipping off the pedal - I appreciate this contrast because it shows me I want to have a smooth drive in without having to worry about my shoes slipping off the pedal so in the future I can wear better shoes the car I'm driving. This contrast showed me what I should do differently to have a better experience.
2. Tights annoying me - I appreciate these tights because they are beautiful and they help my outfit look amazing and put together and are a style I love.
3. Heels hurting my feet - I'm appreciative of these heels because they are so cute and match my tights perfectly and make my legs look even more amazing than they already look and they really make my outfit.
4. Little girl - I appreciate that this little girl is watching me as an example of someone in church really enjoying singing songs and I appreciate that this little girl is possibly seeing someone who is in alignment and is inspired despite the death stare. LOL
It is all about appreciating the contrast for what it is and what is good about that thing/circumstance and what you want in opposite of it.
After the bathroom experience, I came back and sort of kind of looked at my friend's kids and sort of appreciated them in a way that was almost...natural (didn't have to think about it) and after that, a REALLY good song came on that I really resonated with so that was great!
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