Saturday, January 26, 2013

First Run of 2013!

I is already the 26th and I'm just NOW going for a run? lol  Can you say 'lack of motivation'?  I got it BAD!  More on why I decided to run coming up...

My magic shoes make their appearance!  I really wanted to take a picture of my outfit but I had hardly any makeup on so no photos were taken.  But I'm a crazy girl and was wearing all kinds of different brands!  Saucony, Nike, Gap Body, and Brooks!  I don't discriminate. haha

So it was a beautiful day out but still a bit chilly (40ish) and windy.  I was gonna do my typical route around the neighborhood but I thought I'd get all crazy and jaywalk!  Across the street is where the uber expensive houses are (I'm talking Nebraska expensive not LA expensive).  Some of them are on the golf course.  It was lovely running past them and dreaming they were mine!  One had an outdoor fireplace in front of their house!  Super cool!  Wish I had my camera.  Then I decided to run along the main road where the golf course is.  Here are some pics that I took last summer.  

Yes, please.

So anyways, I ended up running 3.42 miles.  I can't believe I still have that much endurance to just go pound out that many miles after maybe running twice since July!  Years of marathon running really does a body good.  Even though I felt ok, towards the end my ankles felt like they were going to snap in half so I figure they're pretty darn weak.  Need to strengthen them.

So anyways, back to my 'lack of motivation' explanation.  For the last few years, I've had a serious lack of motivation issue not to mention pretty bad fatigue.  I have health issues and docs just don't seem to get it so I just deal with it.  I do try to research on my own and try various things to no avail.  So needless to say, I still have this lack of motivation.  And my fatigue actually gets worse when I work out (this has been confirmed that genetically I have what they call 'exercise induced fatigue.')  So that ain't great so right now I'm super tired - drinking me some generic 5 hour energy.  I left my real 5 hour energy at work lol.

I normally like Pomegranate the best but Berry was what they had when I got it.  Anywho, getting side tracked here.

So I've been super stressed about my house lately - more on that in a future blog post.  And so if I'm beyond stressed, I eat awful.

Proof I'm stressed.  LOL!

Anyways, so I eat awful and I gain weight instantly.  So I gain 5lbs right and all of a sudden I go up 2 pant sizes.  Like what the heck?  I mean I'm basically in the same jeans I was in 30lbs ago!  This doesn't make sense?  How can 5lbs now be like 30lbs before?

I mean granted I don't look like I did 30lbs ago but still.   Then I realized that even though I was 30lbs heavier - I ran marathons.  So the weight was distributed better maybe?  Now, I hardly work out - because I don't believe I need it to lose weight.  But apparently to fit in my skinnier jeans I do!   Its not the whole 'muscle' takes up less space than 'fat' because I don't have freakin' muscle where my hips are (I mean u can say that but really I don't).  But if I don't work out and I gain weight (by eating crap), it seems the fat goes right to my stomach/hip area whereas maybe if work out, it goes evenly throughout my body so I won't go up 2 sizes?  I that gave me a bit of motivation to run today.  Long story I'm sure but its interesting the crap that I stumble upon in this weight loss journey. 

Oh and how are my RESOLUTIONS going?  Yeah - not so good.  Exhibit A:

Lots of unpleasant moments lately so basically all my resolutions are thrown out the window at the moment.  Stress seems to take over my whole brain for some reason and I can't even be bothered to try to be better in my life.  Maybe soon the stress will go away. 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year! Resolution Time...

I am not much of a 'make new years resolutions' type of person.  I may join the crowd and just be like 'I'll lose weight' or something.  Because resolutions don't stick for me, really.  I will slip up somewhere somehow.

But I thought I'd do it anyways just for fun!  The best I can do is try, right?

I looked to pinterest for some ideas on some good resolutions and here they are.

1. To be more patient. Super hard for me but I try.

Source: via Jovan on Pinterest

2. To laugh more. I didn't laugh much in 2012 due to the stresses of life. Hoping that changes in 2013.

3. To not let fear eat me up.

Source: via Jovan on Pinterest

4. To not compare myself to others.

Source: via Jovan on Pinterest

5. Get out of my comfort zone.

6. Stay the course with eating right.

I struggle with eating the way I should and I pay for it every time I don't (with instant weight gain or intestinal pain or skin issues or feeling exhausted). When I'm stressed or down, I have no willpower. When someone says, you look like you need to eat - I take that as an excuse to eat like crap. I'm worthy of feeling and looking good, so why do I sabotage myself? I will try to stay the course!

7. Lift more weights.

8. To love myself more.

Who is going to love me if I don't love myself? I tend to beat myself up constantly about anything and everything. So this year I will try my hardest to stop or lessen it.

So I'll end this post at 8 resolutions (my favorite number too!). Lots of stuff for me to make better in the new year. I know its a lot but all I can do is try. Happy New Year everyone!

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